Rise Above the Pain

Too many things happened that I have yet to come to terms with fully: Loved ones suffering, close friends dying, friendships severed, confidences betrayed, accidents happening one after the other, lives lost, dreams shattered.


There was just too much of it.

There are no words. Even the most jaded heart will bleed at the plight of the victims. Reeling from disbelief at a tragedy that should happen only in the grandest of movies, 8 Hong Kong national lives have been lost. In its wake, the images haunt and will continue to do so.

Tragedy, after all, is relative. So is sadness. So, too, is pain. I cannot begin to imagine where and how the victims of all these tragedies can start picking up the fragments of their lives, much less take the baby steps towards moving on. Will they ever be whole again?

I have been hurt deeply a few times – by friends, loved ones and strangers alike. Perhaps I am not as wounded as others and I admit my troubles may not be as great as that of others. But I have been acquainted with pain enough times for me to know what it really feels like.

Only then did it become so apparent that like many other things, forgiving is always easier said than done. It sounds nice, so ideal and serene, but in the midst of deep pain, heck, it is almost always the last thing you would think of doing.

We all relate to the experience personally, in measures that may differ like night and day, but looking forward hopefully we can rise above pain. Please, dear God, let us be wiser, let this experience be enough to wake us all up from deep sleep, and pretend sleep.

Meanwhile, let us all be one as President Aquino has declared a day of national mourning today. In all things big and small, in the midst of muddle, God help us all.

Ramadan

What do you know, this is my first Ramadan. The holy month of fasting for the followers of Islam, which have started officially last Wednesday (11th). During Ramadan, Muslims are not allowed to drink, eat, or smoke from sunup to sundown. In Muslim countries, there is a slowing in the pace and ritual of daily life to accommodate people’s hunger and lower energy levels. In fact, in some countries, eating and drinking in public places, even for non-Muslims, is discouraged if not prohibited.


Working here in Dubai, I was exposed to Islamic beliefs and practices, which I have learned to respect and, in many instances, even admire. (Interestingly, it appears that my exposure to Islamic faith has made me appreciate my religion more and has enabled me to be more tolerant of other people’s beliefs, religious or otherwise).

I had been born into a Catholic family but my being Christian is more than a mere accident of birth — it is also the faith I choose. My faith is a great source of comfort for me. I doubt I would have been able to face the challenges in my life if it were not for my faith. It is a faith that encourages acceptance and grace. When I have to face life’s disappointments, surrendering and knowing that all are part of a divine plan is incredibly comforting and provides me perspective.



I’m sure that we all have our own reasons for our choice of faith and we must all respect and celebrate those choices. Whatever your faith is, what is vital is that you choose it — meaning you are committed to your faith and you make it a part of your life. Commitment does not mean having a perfect faith or living a perfect life. It is an aspect of the human condition that we all will fail in our religious duties. I believe that being committed to your faith means that you strive to be the best Muslim, Christian, Jew or Buddhist that you can be. Just imagine how much better this world would be if the majority of Muslims and Christians actually lived their faith and genuinely practiced the virtues of love, kindness and charity that are the hallmarks of all great religions.

LIVE

I myself do not know why I said yes to be here, the 9th SFC UAE National Conference.. why do I do this to myself? Let’s backtrack a little here. The past two, maybe three years for me have been growing-up years. By that I mean I have made a conscious attempt to stretch my personal limits away from my comfort zone and lie-low in the community CFC - Singles For Christ (Manila) after my Youth For Christ (Albay) years.

But I have often wondered, albeit passively, why most stories of my life always unfold with this community (especially my YFC years), as a verdant backdrop; wondered, too, why the memories fluidly and richly roll out, in neat bundles and stacked heaps, tied warmly with strings of emotion, when an event is remembered, the experience of it all rekindled.
Maybe it is because when I remember the experiences i had with this community it is, to me, never about just that. Always, it is also about the many different people I shared my life with, and the celebration of life and love with its convoy of rides flittering between triumphs and pains.

Yes, I love this community, the same way other people love to cook, daydream, and shop. When traveling, and for someone who loves fashion as much as I do, I would much rather choose sleep over a shopping spree before lunch, but I would sleepily rise from bed to enjoy and serve the youth camps for the KFC (Kids for Christ), or YFC. I find them irresistible.

Again, I say I love this community. My grandest dream is to go on and be a FTPW (Full Time Pastoral Worker), it soothed my heart and all the way to my fingers and toes. I’ve wanted to be able to serve, anytime that the moment calls for, deftly and effortlessly so that anyone who sees me would believe that, yes, oh yes, God is good and it is good to LIVE. This community is a place where good cheer float in the air, a quiet embrace that sets off feelings so positive and so beautiful, you wish the moment can just go on forever.

That said, although I can dream all I want, acceptance is a must and I have come to terms with the realities of life. My attempts for the missionary work have left me bemused, bothered, and bewildered. Nursing has been much kinder, don’t ask me why.

We all have to do things we would rather not do but need to do. I have a wonderful job, yes, there are portions of it I am not entirely comfortable with. But that’s okay. I would like to think that it stretches me in ways that both empower and enrich. It is empowering, not because you think you did a mighty fine job but because you had the courage to at least give it your best shot. That makes the experience enriching. That is the part of it that makes the heart soar.

In the same breath, I think you will agree with me that it is no coincidence, really. Maybe I keep on doing this to myself because I know I can always pray boldly, anchoring my confidence not in myself but in God’s ability to watch over and take care of everything that concerns me; yes, even if it is a matter as petite as seeing me through for all my ignorant “yeses” have entailed. For things both big and small there is always Him. That makes for a thought that never fails to bring peace to my heart.