LIVE

I myself do not know why I said yes to be here, the 9th SFC UAE National Conference.. why do I do this to myself? Let’s backtrack a little here. The past two, maybe three years for me have been growing-up years. By that I mean I have made a conscious attempt to stretch my personal limits away from my comfort zone and lie-low in the community CFC - Singles For Christ (Manila) after my Youth For Christ (Albay) years.

But I have often wondered, albeit passively, why most stories of my life always unfold with this community (especially my YFC years), as a verdant backdrop; wondered, too, why the memories fluidly and richly roll out, in neat bundles and stacked heaps, tied warmly with strings of emotion, when an event is remembered, the experience of it all rekindled.
Maybe it is because when I remember the experiences i had with this community it is, to me, never about just that. Always, it is also about the many different people I shared my life with, and the celebration of life and love with its convoy of rides flittering between triumphs and pains.

Yes, I love this community, the same way other people love to cook, daydream, and shop. When traveling, and for someone who loves fashion as much as I do, I would much rather choose sleep over a shopping spree before lunch, but I would sleepily rise from bed to enjoy and serve the youth camps for the KFC (Kids for Christ), or YFC. I find them irresistible.

Again, I say I love this community. My grandest dream is to go on and be a FTPW (Full Time Pastoral Worker), it soothed my heart and all the way to my fingers and toes. I’ve wanted to be able to serve, anytime that the moment calls for, deftly and effortlessly so that anyone who sees me would believe that, yes, oh yes, God is good and it is good to LIVE. This community is a place where good cheer float in the air, a quiet embrace that sets off feelings so positive and so beautiful, you wish the moment can just go on forever.

That said, although I can dream all I want, acceptance is a must and I have come to terms with the realities of life. My attempts for the missionary work have left me bemused, bothered, and bewildered. Nursing has been much kinder, don’t ask me why.

We all have to do things we would rather not do but need to do. I have a wonderful job, yes, there are portions of it I am not entirely comfortable with. But that’s okay. I would like to think that it stretches me in ways that both empower and enrich. It is empowering, not because you think you did a mighty fine job but because you had the courage to at least give it your best shot. That makes the experience enriching. That is the part of it that makes the heart soar.

In the same breath, I think you will agree with me that it is no coincidence, really. Maybe I keep on doing this to myself because I know I can always pray boldly, anchoring my confidence not in myself but in God’s ability to watch over and take care of everything that concerns me; yes, even if it is a matter as petite as seeing me through for all my ignorant “yeses” have entailed. For things both big and small there is always Him. That makes for a thought that never fails to bring peace to my heart.